new day

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i have always been a morning person. i love those quiet moments before everyone else wakes up. there's something so lovely to me about getting tasks done before people have even opened an eye. these days, i'm doing my best to be grateful for every day that is put before me. every new day is a new chance, a new opportunity to feel better, be better, do better. i feel angry about a lot of things. and in all honesty, most days, i don't want to get out of bed. but the sun comes up, everyday, like clockwork with it's own habitual schedule, and i have to make the choice- to get up and do, or stay and hide. thankfully, i have the world's most morning-loving dog, and some days it's only him that gets me up. other days, it's the pull of coffee. and thankfully, some days it's by job... the obsession and addiction i have with my insane job. i think about loaves of bread and sheets of flaky pastry dough. i think about new ice cream flavors what vegetables do i want in my quiche.  i love the days that i wake up early early and i think i'm going to make the best mother fucking loaf of bread today... i get up, and i go. 

today, it was fergus that got me up and its the 3 cups of coffee i fed myself that have kept me up. the beautiful threat of spring is near and i know that'll help. warmer weather, coffee on the porch, jacket-less early AM's i hope will make mornings a little easier. i miss him constantly, and i think about how unfair life can be. but i just keep trying to see every morning as a new chance to see the world in a positive light. 

*sia - chandelier*